Intimacy in Your Relationships

They say familiarity breeds contempt; the longer you stay together as a couple, the more likely you would notice his flaws. However, every relationship is a work-in-progress; you have to keep working at it every day to make your relationship grow stronger.

Hazel Palache shares some great tips on how to you can overcome one of the major problems in any couples: how to rebuild intimacy in your relationship.

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Relationships – 7 Steps to Building Intimacy

By Hazel C. Palache

Maybe you’ve been with each other for some time and feel your relationship is not the same anymore! You feel you’re on different wavelengths! You really want the relationship to last yet you’re not sure how to bridge the gap between you and your partner so you can create the intimacy, communication and connection you had when you first met.

If you and your partner are on the same page about this, the following steps will help you to build intimacy and open communication making your relationship much stronger.

1. Talk things out together. Let your partner know what you are thinking and feeling. What it is you want out of life and things you would like to do. Remember that your partner can’t read your mind. They can only give you what you need in the relationship if you communicate.

2. Be open and honest. Don’t waste time and effort trying to play mind games with your partner. You can’t expect them to read between the lines and know that when you say, “I’m fine,” it really means you’re fuming inside. Don’t hold in the feelings until they become resentment. Sit down with your partner and without anger or raising your voice start a sentence with “I feel ___when you do___what I really need from you is___.

3. Build trust so it is solid. Trust is what makes a relationship grow and allows intimacy to come into play. Without trust it can be very challenging to build healthy, loving relationships.

4. Date Time. Every couple needs this kind of time, no family, friends or even kids. In order for a relationship to flourish, it needs you to spend special time with each other. This helps the relationship to grow and to flow more smoothly and allows you to continue getting to know more about each other. Have a special day or evening, if possible once a week, if not at least once a month.

Take a trip together. It has been reported that couples who take regular vacations have a happier marriage/relationship overall than those who hadn’t been on a trip together in the last six years.

5. Be flexible. You’ll need a little give and take in your relationship. If you want your partner to do something with you that they are really not interested in, be willing to do something with them that you’re not interested in. Give and take is an excellent way to build intimacy in your relationship.

6. Laugh and Play. Often times when we’ve been with someone for a very long time, we forget about the little things that are still very important. We have more responsibilities, children, work and every day lives, however it’s very important to remember to be playful and laugh in a relationship. Remember how you used to be when you met, how you used to look forward to seeing each other. Being together, laughing and just having fun. Having this in a relationship is important whether you’ve been together 5 months or 15 years.

7. Alone Time. Although it’s really important to have ‘together time’ it’s just as important to have alone time. A healthy, loving relationship is created when each person knows they don’t have to live in the pocket of the other. That pursuing their own interests, having their own friends and creating their own space is as important as the time they have together.

Building a healthy, open loving relationship really isn’t hard. As long as both partners work on open communication and trust they can build a great relationship that involves a healthy level of closeness, intimacy and compatibility.

Hazel Palache is the CEO of Mind Mastery Coaching, home of “Say Yes to YOU Coaching programs. She is the author of award winning best seller, “The Astonishing Power of You,” Simple Steps to Creating an Extra-ordinary Life Hazel is known as The Women Entrepreneurs business coach. She brings 25 plus years experience in the fields of personal development, psychology, spirituality and business development. For more information about Hazel’s services and programs, her free 6 lesson e-course and international Monday Motivator visit http://www.SayYestoYOUCoaching.com To register for her powerful free teleconferences visit http://www.SayYestoYOUCoaching.com/teleclass.html

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Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, as the old saying goes. Do you ever find it difficult to communicate with your partner because your partner doesn’t seem to understand you? Why not look deeper into yourself to know the root of your fights? If you gain a deeper understanding of yourself (i.e. knowing what you want), you can then re-create intimacy in your relationship.

In this video, George DuWors made a great analogy of a person who is allergic to strawberry shortcake vis-a-vis the communication trap in a relationship.

Communication Trap Number One — Blaming the Strawberry

As time goes on…

In the beginning, marriage seems easy. You build a life with your spouse and everything is new and exciting. Problems come up along the way, but the newness and excitement can combat occasional hiccups in your marriage. However, as time goes on and the day to day pressures get in the way, marriage intimacy can begin to fall by the wayside. If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few tips that can help you get back on track.

One of the problems that can stand in the way of improving your marriage is poor communication. Often times one partner will feel that something is missing or that the problems of their marriage are greater than the joy they get from it. They’ll feel isolated and alone. This can often lead to feelings of guilt when the other partner seems to not feel the same way.

The reality though is that if one partner is dissatisfied, it’s likely the other is as well. Sitting down with your spouse and letting them know that you care deeply about your marriage and would like to see it improved can go a long way. It will open the lines of communication and give your spouse permission to admit their own issues. You might worry that your spouse will be hurt or shocked to learn that you’re not altogether happy. However, you might be surprised to find that they’re actually relieved to hear that you feel the same way.

It Can Be a Team Effort

As you talk to your spouse about the lack of marriage intimacy, work together to remember what brought you together in the first place. Frequently the little things that used to mean so much to you and that used to give you a feeling of closeness to your partner can be forgotten. You stop noticing the positives and only seem to be able to focus on the negative. Taking the time to remember what it is about your partner that made you love them in the first place, and sharing that information with them, can be helpful in several ways.

First of all, it helps your partner to know that you’re still happy with them. Even when problems are looming, even when your relationship changes, knowing that your spouse still loves and cherishes you can be a powerful force that will encourage communication and respect. It’s also true that when your partner knows what they’re doing working, they’ll be in a better position to continue acting in ways that you appreciate.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day grind or the problems that come up that you forget why you married your partner in the first place. Talk to them about what you’re missing, but don’t forget to tell them what you appreciate as well. Spend a quiet evening together reminiscing about the beginnings of your relationship. Get in touch with the passion, love and peace you had when you first began. No matter what issues you need to work on, finding common ground and the roots of your love can be the first step in the direction of improved marriage intimacy.

For more ways to improve your marriage intimacy and to discover additional communication and relationship enhancing skills visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or: www.FocusedAttention.com

If you’re married you know how challenging it can be to maintain an intimate relationship with your spouse.  In this busy world, intimacy and relationships often seem miles apart. Here’s a two-part series on Intimacy, Sex and Spirituality in Marriage that might help.

(Part 1)

Excerpt from The Defining Moment Television Talk Show interview with Dr. & Mrs. Dietrich Seidel, Marriage & Family Enrichment Course Instructors in New York. Hosted by Bret Moss.

(Part 2)

Excerpt from The Defining Moment Television Talk Show interview with Dr. & Mrs. Dietrich Seidel, Marriage & Family Enrichment Course Instructors in New York. Hosted by Bret Moss.